Jitters
This tale be start'n at K-Mart. For the past week a squirrel( whom I've given the name Jitters) has inhabited the Garden Shop of said K-Mart. For the first week I didn't see the little feller for meself, but just traces, shells from sunflower seeds and so forth. I haven't been scheduled in said shop once in the two years I've been working thar until last week. Every day I would sweep up them shells and torn pieces of cardboard that scallywag would leave behind.
Two days a go the beast showed himself to me. Made me pee me pants he did as he ran by the shelf I was straightening and disappeared into the depths. For many days grown men have tried to catch the rascal only to be outwitted, until today. Yah see, they set a trap for him, and he walked right into it. I asked the boss what his fate may be, and he said he'd walk the plank at sun down and drown in the murky depths of Davy Jones' locker!
Why am I talking like a Pirate you ask? I just saw Pirates of the Caribbean and thought I would do some thieving of my own. When my shift was over and after I punched out, I stole Jitters who had been baking in the sun for five hours. I felt sorry for the little fellow and couldn't bear the thought of him being drown. I had to rescue him!
When I got home, Sherry and I took him to the Wildlife Sanctuary where he will be spending the next couple days while a wound on his nose heals. He will then be set free in the wild where he will live happily ever after. The lady said Jitters was lucky that I rescued him and gave me a number that I could call to find out his condition. I will keep you posted.
9 comments:
Yar! Twas a nice thing yee did.
You should've sent the Kraken after him.
The Kraken, is that the thing with ALL the giant testicles?
I called the sanctuary last night and they said Jitters was doing fine and is being sent to a rehabilitation facility.
I think so. It was the thing in Pirates that was sucking the ships down.
Man, that movie sucked. I'm thinking Monster House will be better.
Ben, check your e-mail. I sent you a mock-up for a layout.
His name was Jitters
And although we never met
I feel I know him.
-"Jitters," a haiku by The CDP.
Did you want me to do that new layout for you? You never e-mailed me back.
Also, don't forget to come down here for the Rentals tomorrow.
Ok, well I guess you'll have to let me know about the layout. It doesn't matter to me one way or the other.
When you get the chance, stop by the CDP. We're counting down the Top 30 Posts Of All Time throughout the month of September. Crazy!
BLAM!
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