Can't Sleep, Clowns Will Eat Me

I was listening to the iTunes today, when the song "Pennywise" came on. I thought to myself, I haven't done a post about scary clowns yet, so here it is. Post 89 is entitled "Can't Sleep, Clowns Will Eat Me." Not many people know this, but there are only three things that I am afraid of: porcelain dolls, Celine Dion, and clowns. I've had this fear of clowns long before I saw the aforementioned Pennywise in that Stephen King movie that had that retarded ending. Oh wait, that's every Stephen King movie (book for those who read).

One day back in the summer of 1983, my mother brought me along with her to a hardware store in Winneconne, WI. I can't remember what this hardware store was called, but it was located in between Bob's Park and Save and Wentzel Ford. Anyway, they had some sort of promotion going on at the time, so there was a clown there doing clown stuff like making baloon animals and eating small children. When I saw the clown I shrieked like a girl and tightly closed my eyes. You see, three-year-old logic states that when you close your eyes, the things around you no longer exist. In essence, I made the clown disapear. When we went through the check out the cashier thought that it was strange that I was sleeping while seated perfectly straight up in the cart. If only she knew. I refused to open my eyes the whole day. My mom tried bribing me with candy and toys but I would have none of it. I knew the second I opened my eyes, that clown would be there with that red nose, sinister smile, and floppy shoes ready to devour me whole.
That's how terrified I am of clowns. The fear has subsided a little now that I am older, but they still freak me the hell out. In fact, just looking at the above picture of Pennywise is freaking me out. Stop staring at me Pennywise! He's freaky, and what about that clown giving that kid a sucker? That image alone is enough to give me nightmares for months.

I did a little research about this irrational clown phobia that I suffer from on the internets. This is what they had to say:

One possible theory regarding the prevalence of clown phobia is as follows:

Because clowns have permanent exaggerated expressions painted on their faces – usually of joy, but sometimes of sadness, it renders the observer impotent in measuring facial expression as a precursor of action.

Therefore, for those who are mindful of their environment, possibly due to past traumatic events, they are unable to interpret and accordingly predict what this strange creature may do to them.

This fear or clown phobia is heightened when we observe the “happy clown” performing some aggressive behavior, tripping someone or spraying water from an innocuous looking flower in the lapel.

It becomes too much to cope with and causes tremendous confusion and fear.

I turns out I'm not alone, and many people suffer from this fear. It's good to know that I'm not crazy. What are your fears? Sound off in the comments section.

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